Holy Cow! It’s less than seven weeks until The Perfect Voice goes live on Amazon and I’m freakin’ out. I have so many tasks to accomplish and so many new readers to find that I’m starting to lose sleep. Deep breath in…deep breath out, etc.
Moving on. This week of “Life As I Know It” will be focused on Spiritual Connections.
I’m not talking about religion. That is a separate conversation. (Don’t look for answers here. I don’t have any.) Spiritual healing, spiritual guidance, divine intervention, trust, gratitude, appreciation, and positivity…well, you can find lots of that here.
I’m sorry, did you ask “why here?” That’s simple. It’s the REASON I’m here speaking to YOU, my Insatiable Readers. The Universe did not speak to me in the conventional way we speak to each other, but through an openness in my heart and mind. In short…I let The Universe in and it opened itself to me.
Let me take you back a couple of decades. I’ve always been an optimist. So much so, that even my own mother gave me a hard time of it. “How can you see the positive in everything?” Said with annoyance. Oh, and my resilience was also a point of contention, too. “Nothing gets you down,” said with disdain. I thought those two things were supposed to be good things. Things that picked you up when you were feeling down. They were lessons to be applauded to get through life without resentment. Needless to say, I kept on being positive and resilient and it’s a good thing because fifty years later I’m questioning whether any of it really matters. People are going to do what they are going to do regardless of what I believe or how I act. Does anyone really care how I’m feeling today? Really care? So why do I care so much?
Answer: it is not about “them” it is about “me,” how I chose to live my life, and what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I wanted to be remembered as someone who was uplifting, not a Debbie Downer. I wanted to prove to myself that both little and big things can happen to me and that none of those individual things define me. It is the sum of the whole that defines me. Fall down…get up…keep going. The struggle is real, as they say. It’s exhausting, frustrating, soul-crushing, exhilarating, jubilant, remarkable, and inspiring to me each time the cycle comes full circle. I’d like to call it inner strength but it’s more like stubbornness. Being resilient is a hard-won trait that not all possess. I’m fortunate enough, stubborn enough, to keep doing it. Hence, my writing journey.
Every day I feel like the sound of my voice gets smaller and smaller, but my writing voice gets bigger and bigger. Somedays I wish I didn’t have to utter a sound, and on others, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. A dichotomy I struggle with. The good news is that things I wouldn’t utter out loud are being voiced through my characters. You won’t know which ones are from myself or from the character’s point of view, but you will know that it is from a subterranean stream of consciousness that courses through my body and mind.
There is another constant in my life that brings most of my happiness and that’s gratitude. Gratitude. FOR. EVERYTHING. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s all there for a reason, even if I can’t ascertain its message I know that with gratitude I can persevere. The Universe is a big place, but it never ceases to amaze me how it looks out for me all the time. Whether you’re an angel believer or not, I’ve had several people tell me I have an army of protectors and champions circling all around me. More than most, they say. I’ve felt them and intuited their guidance so many times over the years that I cannot help but feel like I am loved beyond comprehension. I feel so much gratitude that it makes me cry sometimes. People may not care so much about this current plane I’m on, but it is exponential on others. My journey keeps bringing me back to the same tropes; let go of control, let go of expectations, let it go…let it go…let it go. You know the song. So much truth in that song. No wonder we love it so much. Letting go is much like the Alcoholics Anonymous Creed (look it up). You don’t really have control of anything but yourself. Forgive others, but mostly forgive yourself for trespasses you inflicted on yourself. Love deeply and without reservation. When you mess up…get up, fix it, atone for it, and move on. Find resilience within yourself and that will be enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. You’ve heard that before, now stop fighting it, and BELIEVE!
This is enough for today, but I will be back to speak more about this in the near future. (See, stubborn;)
Be kind to yourself and READ ON!
*Don’t forget to pre-order The Perfect Voice NOW or put it on your calendar to order on July 1st to order your b copy!
TTFN,
Beth